Today is Ash Wednesday, my favorite sacred day of the year. There is something so powerful in the idea that we came from dust and we will return to dust. Last year, this sacred day fell on the one year anniversary of the 100 pound loss weigh in, which gave the day a whole new layer of meaning. I remember that day feeling like a new person. Like I had taken off the old me and set her aside. As I continue on this journey, always learning new things about this new self, I have spent a lot of time working on my mindset as I looked for ways to help others achieve this goal for themselves. One of the most important things I learned in my reflections is that the first step was deciding I was worth it. Realizing, I needed to prioritize me and doing that would be an OK thing to do.
Hind sight is such a wonderful tool for recognizing God at work in our lives. Looking back I realize that I was getting messages I needed to make some changes, but was not quite ready to hear them. A few years ago, before I had even contemplated this journey I had an experience on Ash Wednesday that I can now see as one of the first steps. As I rushed about in my usual frantic way taking care of everyone and everything else before myself, I arrived at the Ash Wednesday service ten minutes late. I completely missed the imposition of ashes. I remember sitting in that service beating myself up. I had failed myself and my relationship with God. I was truly devastated and could not get past the sense of hopelessness I felt. Later that afternoon, I returned to church to meet with my pastor. I cried in her office and explained what had happened. She performed that imposition of ashes ceremony with me and then looked me in the eyes and said “Heidi, you are a child of God, worthy of his love.” I can hear her voice in my head to this day. So often we forget this reality and get caught up in this demanding world trying to prove our worth with our achievements. What God wants is for us to love him, to be our best selves, to make our best effort. I was reminded of this when my success coach wrote my vision of success for me. She included the line “you are worthy of God’s love and worthy of self love.” Believing this has been critical to my success.
So today I leave you with a song that always brings me back to my pastor’s office on that day. Remember, God made beautiful things out of dust. You are one of those beautiful things. Worthy of his love. Worthy of self love. Full of all the potential you can possibly imagine.
Have a beautiful day,